Nostalgia

Reading another blog, one that I try to follow despite my proclivity to distraction, I found two words that I really found appealing. One was proclivity, which I just found an opportunity to use. The second was the word "Nostalgia", which is one that constantly takes on new meaning. Well, maybe the definition of the word hasn't changed. Rather, what I actually feel nostalgic about has changed.

Nostalgia is usually a sort of wishful thinking, a desire to return to the happiness of a former place and time. When I was in the Missionary Training Center, I would sometimes think of the good times that I spent in high school and our first year of college when I spent every weekend eating popcorn and watching "Into the Woods" with my closest friends. (Yes, we watched Sondheim several times a month). Once I left for China and became a missionary, I pined for the friendship and cheesecake that was available daily in the MTC. Not to mention the fact that I regretted not making more of my study time and opportunity to learn Cantonese. After I returned to the States, I looked back on the mission with fondness, and constantly had dreams about being a missionary still.

I could go on and on, but the point is, whenever you move into a new phase of life you have a tendency to look back and long for the good times that you left behind. There is only one thing about this that doesn't make sense. All the time that you're looking back on the good things you had, you are also thinking about the next phase of life, when things are going to be so much better. The present is the one phase that we tend to think badly of, no matter how positively we anticipated it in the past, or how fondly we look back on it later on.

I'm as guilty as anybody on this score. Since I started as a manager, I have thought a lot about the good old days when I used to sit around with my coworkers and chat, soaking up the summer sun and smelling the rain coming in on the wind. I think about those simple days at that work site when everything made sense, I didn't have to worry about training new staff or making schedules or wonder whether people were going to show up for their shifts. At the same time I think about how a promotion would fix all my problems (supposedly). The thought that a promotion would mean working only 9 to 5, give me back my evenings and weekends and provide a worthwhile salary. The result is that you find yourself thinking positively about every situation except the one your in.

I really don't want this blog to become a series of preachy posts about how to live a positive and happy life, but this is an observation that just recently came to my mind. Perhaps it would be better to think about the good that we have in our life in the here and now. I will be the first to admit that there are less than exciting aspects to any life. But they are a part of life, and a necessary part of life.