Reading another blog, one that I try to follow despite my proclivity to distraction, I found two words that I really found appealing. One was proclivity, which I just found an opportunity to use. The second was the word "Nostalgia", which is one that constantly takes on new meaning. Well, maybe the definition of the word hasn't changed. Rather, what I actually feel nostalgic about has changed.
Nostalgia is usually a sort of wishful thinking, a desire to return to the happiness of a former place and time. When I was in the Missionary Training Center, I would sometimes think of the good times that I spent in high school and our first year of college when I spent every weekend eating popcorn and watching "Into the Woods" with my closest friends. (Yes, we watched Sondheim several times a month). Once I left for China and became a missionary, I pined for the friendship and cheesecake that was available daily in the MTC. Not to mention the fact that I regretted not making more of my study time and opportunity to learn Cantonese. After I returned to the States, I looked back on the mission with fondness, and constantly had dreams about being a missionary still.
I could go on and on, but the point is, whenever you move into a new phase of life you have a tendency to look back and long for the good times that you left behind. There is only one thing about this that doesn't make sense. All the time that you're looking back on the good things you had, you are also thinking about the next phase of life, when things are going to be so much better. The present is the one phase that we tend to think badly of, no matter how positively we anticipated it in the past, or how fondly we look back on it later on.
I'm as guilty as anybody on this score. Since I started as a manager, I have thought a lot about the good old days when I used to sit around with my coworkers and chat, soaking up the summer sun and smelling the rain coming in on the wind. I think about those simple days at that work site when everything made sense, I didn't have to worry about training new staff or making schedules or wonder whether people were going to show up for their shifts. At the same time I think about how a promotion would fix all my problems (supposedly). The thought that a promotion would mean working only 9 to 5, give me back my evenings and weekends and provide a worthwhile salary. The result is that you find yourself thinking positively about every situation except the one your in.
I really don't want this blog to become a series of preachy posts about how to live a positive and happy life, but this is an observation that just recently came to my mind. Perhaps it would be better to think about the good that we have in our life in the here and now. I will be the first to admit that there are less than exciting aspects to any life. But they are a part of life, and a necessary part of life.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Embarassing Tyrade
It has been said by some that I have the temperament and demeanor of a Teddy Bear. Actually they didn't use those words, they just called me a teddy bear. But I know what they meant.
I guess its true. I seek peoples respect, and I strive to be the nicest person that I can manage to be. One decision that has helped me to achieve this is to not sweat the small stuff. I don't allow myself to get upset unless it is really really important that I do. My thought process is very third year econ student oriented. Does the benefit of the outcome of me getting upset outweigh the negative impact that it will have on others, including the person that I am mad at? The answer, the majority of the time, is "No".
There is two reasons for this. One, the outcome of getting upset is usually either negative or none. Most often, when someone gets upset and makes a big deal out of something, everyone ends up with hurt feelings, and nobody feels better about the outcome. Usually, only the person who won the fight or argument feels good about the encounter. It is very rare that negativity and negative energy leave people feeling good. As far as trying to correct peoples bad behavior, the same holds true. People who are wrong, stupid, insensitive, prejudiced, and your plain old, run of the mill morons are going to continue to be so, probably for the rest of their lives. Just because you are indignant or correct them doesn't mean that they are going to change that.
The second reason is that, not only is the gain usually minor or nonexistent, but the costs can be devastating. Too often I hear about people who are good friends, getting into an argument about something that is trivial, and ending up with hurt feelings. There was never any intent to insult or upset, but it happens anyway. Someone allows it to become a big deal. Its because people forget that being right is less important than a friendship. Again, getting upset and making a big deal out of something is usually just going to cause hurt feelings.
I do admit that there are occasions where it is appropriate to speak out, to get upset. Indeed, there are times when you have to. Justice and liberty are principles that hold our society together. The people in that society are the protectors of those liberties. So, when people are being abusive, or taking away the rights of another, it is more than appropriate to speak up and put someone in their place. We just have to be careful how we approach situations where someone is out of line, and be careful that we don't end up finding ourselves out of line.
Case in point, a couple days ago, I was reading through blogs, one of which is written by a friend of mine. I found a second, with a similar title and theme. In one of the posts on the second blog, I was shocked to find that the author had made the audacious claim that he was the author of both blogs and that one was really his experiences, and the other was a work of fiction. I was outraged at such a claim, thinking that my friend was the victim of some sort of plagiarism. I quickly sent him an email, telling him of my findings, and advising him to take strong action. In my mind, the plagiarist was cheapening my friend's experiences, by claiming them to be his own. After hastily and hotly writing this email, I discovered that my friend not only knew about the "offending" blog, but the post in question was an April Fools joke, perpetrated in collaboration by the two bloggers (who are also friends).
In conclusion, I try to remember that there are very few things that are important in this world. Our families, friends, and our freedoms are worth fighting for. But its most likely that opinions on global warming, the appearance of a neighbors lawn, or the words that someone chooses poorly are not going to be the important battles that you think they will be in the heat of the moment. If you really do feel it is important to say something, to express your frustrated opinion, then do what I do. Write a strongly worded letter. Just think it over really thoroughly before you send it.
I guess its true. I seek peoples respect, and I strive to be the nicest person that I can manage to be. One decision that has helped me to achieve this is to not sweat the small stuff. I don't allow myself to get upset unless it is really really important that I do. My thought process is very third year econ student oriented. Does the benefit of the outcome of me getting upset outweigh the negative impact that it will have on others, including the person that I am mad at? The answer, the majority of the time, is "No".
There is two reasons for this. One, the outcome of getting upset is usually either negative or none. Most often, when someone gets upset and makes a big deal out of something, everyone ends up with hurt feelings, and nobody feels better about the outcome. Usually, only the person who won the fight or argument feels good about the encounter. It is very rare that negativity and negative energy leave people feeling good. As far as trying to correct peoples bad behavior, the same holds true. People who are wrong, stupid, insensitive, prejudiced, and your plain old, run of the mill morons are going to continue to be so, probably for the rest of their lives. Just because you are indignant or correct them doesn't mean that they are going to change that.
The second reason is that, not only is the gain usually minor or nonexistent, but the costs can be devastating. Too often I hear about people who are good friends, getting into an argument about something that is trivial, and ending up with hurt feelings. There was never any intent to insult or upset, but it happens anyway. Someone allows it to become a big deal. Its because people forget that being right is less important than a friendship. Again, getting upset and making a big deal out of something is usually just going to cause hurt feelings.I do admit that there are occasions where it is appropriate to speak out, to get upset. Indeed, there are times when you have to. Justice and liberty are principles that hold our society together. The people in that society are the protectors of those liberties. So, when people are being abusive, or taking away the rights of another, it is more than appropriate to speak up and put someone in their place. We just have to be careful how we approach situations where someone is out of line, and be careful that we don't end up finding ourselves out of line.
Case in point, a couple days ago, I was reading through blogs, one of which is written by a friend of mine. I found a second, with a similar title and theme. In one of the posts on the second blog, I was shocked to find that the author had made the audacious claim that he was the author of both blogs and that one was really his experiences, and the other was a work of fiction. I was outraged at such a claim, thinking that my friend was the victim of some sort of plagiarism. I quickly sent him an email, telling him of my findings, and advising him to take strong action. In my mind, the plagiarist was cheapening my friend's experiences, by claiming them to be his own. After hastily and hotly writing this email, I discovered that my friend not only knew about the "offending" blog, but the post in question was an April Fools joke, perpetrated in collaboration by the two bloggers (who are also friends).
In conclusion, I try to remember that there are very few things that are important in this world. Our families, friends, and our freedoms are worth fighting for. But its most likely that opinions on global warming, the appearance of a neighbors lawn, or the words that someone chooses poorly are not going to be the important battles that you think they will be in the heat of the moment. If you really do feel it is important to say something, to express your frustrated opinion, then do what I do. Write a strongly worded letter. Just think it over really thoroughly before you send it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)